You Only Pumpkin Once

By Allison Yeh

The leaves have turned their different shades of orange, red, and yellow. The air feels like you just sprayed your nose with saline water. And that impulse brought pumpkin outside the grocery store has become your new best friend. That’s right, it’s Fall.

“But how ‘bout them apples?” Your roommate might ask when you bring home that 15 pound pumpkin from Zabars.

While she makes a good point, apples are indeed part of the autumn celebration, you ask her if she has ever dressed up as an apple for Halloween? You ask her if she has ever seen apple flavored Oreos. NO, she hasn’t, because fall doesn’t love apples the way it loves pumpkins, the way it defends them no matter what. Apples are the things you have on the side – the things you might secretly love more but will never admit until you are eating leftover pumpkin soup in March. Apples could be had any time of the year, but pumpkins are season specific.

In fall, you can do whatever you want with a pumpkin. You are invincible. The simple response when looked at strangely for spreading pumpkin spice butter on your pumpkin spice bagel: “Just Fall things!” Or when you decide to do your makeup modeled after that Pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL) you had that morning…

pumpkinspice

(from @lowcheekbones)

You’re not crazy, it’s just the season!

You don’t even have to say it twice for even “non-pumpkin believers” to start nodding their heads and asking where you got that pumpkin shaded blush.

“But pumpkin spice doesn’t have pumpkin in it!” Your roommate points out while watching pumpkin drool down your chin.

You then roll your eyes and tell her: it’s not the real pumpkin that matters, it’s the magic of the word and what it represents.

You tell her the idea is “YOPO” – You Only Pumpkin Once. There is only one time of the year where it is socially acceptable to turn pumpkin into a verb, and that’s now. Go pumpkining with your friends under the crisp autumn trees. Pumpkin your chips, your pop tarts, your toothpaste. Pumpkin your room, your table, your door entrance. You warn your roommate that there is only a limited amount of time to pumpkin because come winter, your pumpkin will turn into a carriage. And how the fuck are you supposed to make a latte out of a carriage?

Allison Yeh is a sophomore at Barnard and Lead Features Editor for Barnard Bite.

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