Restaurant Review: Two Boots (Upper West Side)

by Laura K. Garrison

Right on!

If Hewitt’s pizza has become monotonous and Koronet’s monster slices are too much to handle, check out Two Boots, located between 95th and 96th Streets on Broadway. Though the Upper West Side pizzeria is only a short walk (and even shorter Subway ride) away, Two Boots locations throughout the city are immediately identifiable by their psychedelic exteriors. And while you should never judge a book by its cover, this is one culinary experience that can only be described as “far out.”

Pizza purists beware: this is not for the faint of heart. If pepperoni is as daring as you’re willing to go, skip Two Boots’ Cajun-influenced pizza (the boots are Italy and Louisiana, get it?). Each slice is loaded with a mishmash of toppings ranging from jalapeno peppers to crawfish, from BBQ shrimp to spinach and artichoke dip. The crust is light and crispy, making it easy to finish two large slices without feeling bloated. Salads, Po’ Boys, and heroes are also available, though I personally have always gone for the pizza. My favorite slices include “The Bird” (buffalo wings, blue cheese dressing, scallions, and jalapenos), “The Newman” of Seinfeld fame (sopressata and sweet Italian sausage), and “Cleopatra Jones” (sweet Italian sausage, roasted peppers, onions, and mozzarella), though there are vegetarian options for non-meat lovers.

Step aside, Koronet’s!

Two Boots is loud and colorful, just like its pizza. Murals of Cleopatra Jones and John Lennon and Yoko Ono cover the walls, and Mets pennants remind you that you’re sitting in a New York pizza parlor. Two Boots is an excellent choice for a quick lunch/dinner/linner with friends, but it can be pricey. One slice can set you back $4, but it’s totally worth every penny once in a while. When ordering, it’s easy to get intimidated by the variety of toppings on each slice, but I recommend that you boldly order whatever sounds most appealing. Though I wasn’t too keen about the peppers on “Cleopatra Jones,” I quickly realized it added a nice kick which I promptly washed down with a swig of Boylan cream soda.

Next time you’re exploring the UWS, Bleecker Street, or Hell’s Kitchen, I highly suggest you swing by Two Boots. You may never think of pizza the same way again. Groovy man.

Laura K. Garrison is a sophomore at Barnard and Managing Editor of The Nine Ways of Knowing.

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