by Elianna Mintz
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months, been best friends for longer, and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve never been loved this way before. He treats me so well. Granted, he can be a bit lazy but hey, no one’s perfect. I am my happiest when I’m with him, I respect him, I care about him, he makes me laugh, he makes me feel beautiful and smart and like a complete dork but in the best way possible.
But there’s a problem. We have nothing in common. I’m a complete nerd at Barnard, he barely pulls off high school. I always try hard, he gives up easily. I’m a dancer, he’s into video games. I have a horrible sense of humor, he’s a nice boy. We are so different. I’m afraid that when this stops being long distance, we won’t be compatible at all.
I love him. I want to be with him for as long I can but I’m afraid that a relationship like this won’t last with so few commonalities. What should I do? Should I despair or do opposites really attract?
Dear Frantic Romantic,
Do not, I repeat not, despair. You have hit that six-month slump in your relationship when the initial excitement is waning and you are starting to question if he is really right for you. It is perfectly normal and you should not feel as if it means your relationship is over.
While you guys may have many differences, I do strongly believe that opposites attract. If you were exactly the same, the relationship could get pretty boring. The differences are the spices in your relationship. However, to ensure that your different interests don’t cause you to drift apart (especially since it is a long distance relationship), make sure to compromise and express interest in each others activities. You should listen to him when he talks about his high school classes and video games and he should listen to you talk about your activities here. Your relationship will grow stronger as you learn more about what each other values.
Additionally, I think you may have more in common than you think. If having similar interests is so important to you I would suggest you try to find out more about your boyfriend. I know you have known him closely for over six months, but there are always random things that people do not know about each other. To solve this, I would suggest you play the question game. Throughout the day text each other random questions that the other person has to answer. It is flirty and fun and ensures that you will constantly be in contact throughout the day. This will enable you to learn more about each other and find more commonalities and it will reestablish some of the excitement in your relationship.
Another important point is that you should be honest with him and tell him how you feel. Make sure to stress how much you care for him and love spending time with him but fear that your differences are making you grow apart. The best medicine is always honesty, especially when you are in a serious relationship. He may or may not have a solution but either way it will be beneficial for the two of you to talk about it.
All in all remember that no relationship is perfect, but if he makes you feel so happy and good about yourself, then I wouldn’t sweat the small stuff, such as your differences. Try to spend time embracing the differences and even try to find more similarities between the two of you. I have a feeling that it will all work out. Good luck Frantic Romantic!
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