53rd Grammy Awards Liveblog

11:30- Thanks for liveblogging the 53rd Grammy Awards with the Nine Ways of Knowing! Good night!

11:25- Arcade Fire finishes off their acceptance speech with “It’s Ready To Start.”

11:23- “Album of the Year” goes to Arcade Fire! (Amidst shouts of “Eminem!”)

11:22- Barbra Streisand, you’ve had your moment. Go film Gypsy or something.

11:15- They’re singing into a megaphone? Alright…

11:14- I feel like bikers and strobe lights on a stage are a bad combination…is that just me?

11:13- Arcade Fire takes the stage. They are currently up for “Album of the Year.”

11:11- Jason Segel wore a cape to school until he was 12? HERO!

11:05- I’m pretty sure most of the world thinks “Empire State of Mind” was eligible for Grammys last year. Alas, “Record of the Year” goes to Lady Antebellum for “Need You Now.”

11:03- Marc Anthony, we don’t need the humming.

11:02- Seriously, J-Lo, put on some pants. You’re wearing a tinfoil shirt!

11:01- FLAMES! Rihanna has been pretty busy tonight…though apparently putting on an outfit that actually covers stuff is NOT on the agenda.

10:59- No one really knows what his name is, but he’s just here to introduce Rihanna and Drake, so whatever.

10:52- “Best Rap Album” goes to Eminem’s Recovery, and the crowd goes wild. Why does he not look surprised?

10:51- Nicki Minaj and Will.i.am…their outfits…I have no words. I need caffeine to tackle that car wreck.

10:50- Did Lady Gaga change costumes?

10:48- She’s dressed like she’s going to a 19th-century funeral and looks WAY too blonde, singing “Evergreen.” She lost “Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album” to Michael Buble earlier tonight.

10:46- Is everyone ready? It’s Barbra Streisand time…

10:43- The girl who played Gooch on Scrubs was just in a Progressive commercial…it makes me miss Scrubs.

10:39- Mick Jagger, thank you. For just being you. And awesome.

10:37- This performance has more energy in one person than all of Lady Gaga’s backup dancers.

10:35- Mick Jagger’s first-ever Grammy performance. Did he honestly just pull off a massive cape? Eh, it’s alright, his blazer is great.

10:33- RIP Jerry Bock.

10:32- RIP Lena Horne. Your voice was truly fantastic.

10:31- You can’t hear Matthew Morrison over the awesome high school musicians…but hey, I’m all for arts education.

10:28- Matthew Morrison? Backed by a bunch of teenagers singing “Don’t Stop Believin'”? Do something better than Glee, please. In 2003 you were part of the Hairspray cast recording that won a Grammy. Doesn’t that sound more fun?

10:24- Esperanza Spalding has won “Best New Artist.” Her dress looked like the Secret Garden threw up on her, and she was probably the last nominee anyone would expect to win, behind Bieber, Drake, Florence and the Machine, and Mumford and Sons.

10:21- …WHO? Is this a joke?

10:20- Not a lot of people can pull off yellow- nice job, Jewel. Though it does almost look like she’s imitating Lady Gaga’s performance costume. And is there ANY competition here? We all know “Bieber Fever” is going to conquer this category…

10:16- I take it back. That dress looks like a nightmare. Loving this performance though. Every time I think Eminem is done, he comes back with something awesome…though I’m starting to feel like this has turned into the Eminem show.

10:14- Woo-hoo. Flames. Again. Find some new projections for decorations, CBS.

10:13- Seth Rogen jokes about getting high with Miley Cyrus. Classy. Rihanna’s dress is beautiful, but you have to wonder how she moves in all that fabric. She and Eminem are nominated for “Record of the Year” and “Song of the Year.” Eminem is nominated for “Album of the Year,” and Rihanna won “Best Dance Recording” for “Only Girl (In the World).”

10:06- “The Song Otherwise Known as Forget You.” Way to be acceptable, CBS. “Song of the Year” goes to Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now.” Probably because it’s too annoying to leave anyone’s head.

10:03- Norah Jones, Keith Urban, and John Mayer sing Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” to honor Parton’s Lifetime Achievement Award. Norah, look like you want to be there! Norah Jones was nominated for “Best Female Pop Vocal Performance” before losing to Lady Gaga. Keith Urban won “Best Male Country Vocal Performance” for “‘Til Summer Comes Around” and John Mayer’s “Battle Studies” won “Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical” earlier tonight.

10:02- Slutty candy stripers? Eh. Honestly, I like the a cappella Glee version of this song better.

10:00- Okay, this is adorable. Her actual wedding in a movie on the background makes up for her diction-less vocals. But of course…it’s time for a Valentine’s Day-themed “Teenage Dream.”

9:58- Katy Perry looks like a slutty “Glinda the Good” while performing “Just Like the Movies.” She’s nominated for “Album of the Year.”

9:57- Neil Patrick Harris, marry me. Please. When did he have sex on TV with Katy Perry? Was she on How I Met Your Mother? Do I seriously not know anything on TV besides NCIS and BONES?

9:50 – Gwyneth joins him with pink feather earrings, singing the song she performed on Glee. She actually sounds amazing- what’s with the Glee people taking great vocalists and making them sound worse? Cee Lo is nominated for “Record of the Year” and”Song of the Year” (F*** You), and won”Best Urban/Alternative Performance”earlier tonight.

9:48- MUPPETS! MUPPETS! MUPPETS! And Cee Lo in a peacock costume? What’s with the dog?

9:47- Jamie Foxx knows how to work a crowd and look great doing it.

9:45- Miley, congratulations on looking mature without looking like a pole-dancer. “Best Country Album” goes to Lady Antebellum for “Need You Now.”

9:44- Lady Antebellum is performing “American Honey” and “Need You Now.” Tonight, they’re nominated for “Record of the Year,” “Album of the Year,” “Best Country Album,” and “Song of the Year” (Need You Now), after winning “Best Country Performance By A Duo or Group With Vocals” and “Best Country Song” (Need You Now).

9:39- Lea Michele has ridiculously dark lipstick. Who does she think she is, Anne Hathaway?

9:32- Kind of a boring performance, but it’s Bob Dylan. He’s the only guy who could make playing harmonica look awesome.

9:30- The Avett Brothers perform “Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise,” but really we’re all just waiting for Bob Dylan! Too bad the microphone is dead…

9:27- Mumford and Sons performs “The Cave.” They are nominated for “Best New Artist,” having already lost “Best Rock Song” to Neil Young. Why are they headbanging a heavily acoustic song? I really love the inclusion of a bass and a banjo in the category of rock. The guitarist is SO HAPPY.

9:25- “7. Jay-Z revealed that ‘Empire State of Mind’ was really about Trenton.” Well that’s a surprise!

9:23- Selena Gomez’s dress is beautiful- I love that she announced Justin Bieber, considering how they’re dating. And “Best Pop Vocal Album” goes to Lady Gaga…of course. You can’t go anywhere without hearing it. What is the back of her dress all about? I’m actually amazed how normal she sounds when she opens her mouth, considering how she normally presents herself. I’m personally relieved that Bieber did not win.

9:14- “Best Rock Album” goes to Muse’s “Resistance.” Why don’t they look the least bit happy while walking up to the stage?

9:14- As a self-proclaimed NCIS fanatic, I love seeing Pauley Perrette presenting at the awards. But her dress is questionable- like a silk blanket with a giant music note. Perhaps a desperate try to fit in at a music show when she’s known for her acting?
A/N: Her band Stop Making Friends has some great stuff out there- check it out!

9:12- Is anyone else saddened by the fact that every performance tonight has pretty much been on the same level as Lady Gaga’s? At least she’ll have that red carpet entrance to her credit.

9:11- I have to admit, that was a great performance vocally. But I prefer Usher, despite his questionable costume choices. Usher won “Best Contemporary R&B Album” earlier tonight.

9:10- Hey Jayden Smith…maybe if you and Justin put your ages together you get a legal drink! And what are you wearing? Leopard print pants or something? At least your parents are proud!

9:09- Why are we drumming and wrestling? Fire and acrobatics, ooh!

9:08- Alright Bieber, I don’t really understand you and your career most of the time, but I got to say that  your voice is great right now…let’s hope puberty doesn’t hit you any harder. Bieber is nominated for “Best Pop Vocal Album” and “Best New Artist” tonight.

9:06- Watching this video makes me wonder what I’m doing with my life- that was Justin Bieber at age 12 or so?

9:05 – Eva Longoria is wearing two pieces of fabric, and earrings.

9:00 – “Best Female Vocal Country Performance” goes to Miranda Lambert for “The House That Built Me,” earning her her first Grammy ever.
A/N: I had no idea Jewel was still around…she was cool when I was in fifth grade.

8:56- And the screen goes back to color for Janelle Monae. She looks amazing in super-cute outfit and sounds fantastic. Sounds like time for a crowd-surf! Janelle Monae is nominated for “Best Contemporary R&B Album.”

8:53 – If nothing else, this “vintage” performance is shaking it up a bit. This version of the song is a little odd, but you gotta love those back-up singers/dancers. Bruno Mars is also nominated for “Best Male Pop Vocal Performance” (Just the Way You Are).

8:52 – B.o.B. and Bruno Mars are sharing nominations for “Record of the Year” and “Best Rap Song.” B.o.B. is also nominated for “Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals” (Airplanes, Part II)

8:50- b.o.b. is wearing…a monocle? And they’re singing an old song…I’m personally tired of it.

8:49 – A “power trio”? I’m intrigued. But Ryan is starting to get on my nerves.

8:43- I guess anarchy is in this year. Although I don’t know much about Muse, I have to say I dig the guitar-playing going on onstage.

8:41 – Nominated for “Best Rock Song” (Resistance) and “Best Rock Album,” Muse performs “Uprising.” Hey Matthew Bellamy, the 80’s wants its jacket back. I don’t really dig the people onstage bashing things, but the Tetris-like window projections are intriguing.

8:38- And fiance Blake Shelton cheers her on. How cute.

8:35 – Nominated for “Song of the Year,” “Best Female Vocal Performance,” and “Best Country Song,” Miranda Lambert performs “House That Built Me.” She looks very awkward in those heels, and sounds a little pitchy…

8:29- Not quite the epic performances that was promised, but a great opener for sure. One would probably expect her song to be later in the show, but she can’t exactly attend the show and accept awards in a plastic womb.

8:26- The choreography for this song is really amazing. And now there is an organ with flames behind it. And she is rocking on it a la Phantom of the Opera. Anyone know what’s up with the heads wrapped in plastic?

8:24- And the egg that has been incubating Lady Gaga all night opens to reveal the pop star in a pale yellow outfit reminiscent of a belly dancer…or Madonna? That’s what this new song is starting to sound like…Lady Gaga is nominated for “Album of the Year,” “Best Female Pop Vocal Performance” (Bad Romance), “Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals” (Telephone with Beyonce), and “Best Pop Vocal Album.”

8:20- Best Pop Performance By A Duo or Group goes to Hey Soul Sister (Live) by Train.
A/N: I’m not a fan of their live performances, but I do love this catchy song. His comment about not being up against Justin Bieber is warranted, I pity those who are. I’m also relieved that the overly-autotuned Glee cast did not receive a Grammy…

8:19- That CBSCares commercial made me feel awkward.

8:13- I commend whoever had the idea to organize a tribute with female artists from all different genres- they sound fantastic.

8:08- Jennifer Hudson is KILLING Aretha’s anthem “Respect.” Definitely one of the American Idol participants you forgot didn’t come in first.

8:07- And the Grammy Awards have begun! Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson, Florence Welch, Martina McBride, and Yolanda Adams sing a tribute to Aretha Franklin.
A/N: Christina is a fierce belter. I can’t lie, I miss her early stuff.
What is Martina wearing? It looks like a bunch of trash bags made into a dress on Project Runway (special shoutout if you can name who actually did that recently).

Image courtesy of Okay Player.

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2 thoughts on “53rd Grammy Awards Liveblog

  1. This is really amusing. I amy not agree with everything but I like it 😀 Seriously, where is the Florence performance besides the short expert at the beginning?!?!?!

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